“Working Moms are no way better than Stay-At-Home Moms, as SAHMs give their full time and attention to their children and are able to raise them better than working moms, therefore, you should consider quitting your job to give valuable time to your kid and you’ll cherish this decision forever”.
I have been listening to such statements since the day I got the report in my hand confirming the presence of a life within.
I have always been one of those career oriented women who wish to excel in their professional life with an aim to set an example for their children to follow. How could I just quit when my kid was about to arrive to witness his mom’s successes, failures and her learning through those failures, which she would have shared with him each day while watching him grow and learn things she would have taught him in the light of her experiences? How could I just quit when I hadn’t even tried my true potential to see whether I could play my multiple roles of a wife, a mother and a PR professional with a balance or not? When these questions hammered my head, I sat with my partner to discuss the way forward and stood up with full confidence that I can perhaps achieve it all – only if I give myself a chance.
While I was open to the idea of quitting the job at some point, if needed, I decided to leave things on time and make further decisions accordingly. I took my maternity break but went back to work when my son was 2 months old. Here, I would also like to mention that I am one of those lucky women who have a very supportive management and colleagues. I was provided with a baby cot set next to my table along with other necessary items and yes – I was multi-tasking at work too – that is, taking care of my child and working simultaneously.
It was tough initially but things got settled as I adapted my schedule according to the demands of the new lifestyle since I had entered the motherhood. Things have been stable so far – I take care of my child and his needs, I am doing well in my career, meeting the deadlines for each task that I have to do for all my clients, and I take care of daily household tasks too, excluding cleaning the house and washing dishes and clothes as we have hired a maid for these tasks. So, should I be guilty that I am not being able to do justice to my role of a mother?
Well, honestly, I am done with listening to all judgmental comments of SAHMs as I truly believe that being a working mom or a stay-at-home mom is completely an individual’s choice. I have always respected SAHMs and all the efforts that they put to look after their families but seriously, this doesn’t mean that I will take your two cents on how I should be living my life especially when I am very well able to keep a work-life balance. One also needs to understand that in many cases, a woman is not continuing a job just because she is career oriented but because her circumstances demand her to work. I even know some women who find their job a escape from certain situations to keep their sanity alive.
Considering whether my life is any different than a SAHM’s or not – I have found commonalities more than differences in terms of things that we do for our kids. I also have few hours to sleep, wake up in the middle of the night to make my baby comfortable and feed him, clean his poop and other mess in the middle of developing a write-up or a client’s business strategy or even during dinner time when I just got a break and was about to eat food after a long hectic day. I also do silly things during the day just to bring a smile on my son’s face, laugh with him, play with him, give him shower, and sing him lullabies or read bed –time stories before he goes to sleep. My son is as close to me as any SAHM’s son or daughter so what is it that you think makes you superior than me – a working mom?
It is my humble request to SAHMs to please stop telling working women that how they should prioritize their babies by quitting jobs and staying at home because, you may think this way, but having babies is not the end of one’s personal life. If you chose to be a SAHM or had no other choice but to be a SAHM – that’s perfectly fine, as every individual has different circumstances to live with. Similarly, different careers have different demands therefore, even judging, for instance, a Gynecologist will not be justified if she is out to serve the humanity while her children are at home with a family member or a maid. Working moms equally love their children and are putting no less effort than you to raise their children appropriately. They have double stress in terms of work and if yet they are doing it all happily and willingly then what exactly is your problem?
I am happy about the choice that I made and I know that my child is not suffering because of my professional choice thus, I am not sorry about being a working mom and for choosing what I felt was right for me and my family. Thus, no matter how many times you tell me that how I should be guilty about my choices as I am not as good a mother to my child as you are – please note that I will NOT quit, as I am NOT guilty!